Darkness Burning
by gethsemane342
Summary: One sister moves across the sea and the other stays in her room knowing that she can never be a queen. AU story considering what could have happened if Elsa and Anna's parents had returned safely from their trip.
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**Disclaimer: I do not own** _Frozen_

**Rating: **for mentions of mental illness, death and adult themes.

**A/n**: When I first thought of this, it was to be a oneshot, no more than 6000 words long. It's ended up being over 18000 words long and, after some deliberation, I've split it into three parts. So, this is the first part. I'll post the second part tomorrow (today? It's half midnight...) and the third part possibly the day after. In the meantime, I will warn you that due to the direction the story takes, some of the main characters from Frozen will not appear. I will also add that the basis for what happens to Elsa can actually be found in an interview - I'm not (entirely) making up canon. I hope you enjoy!

Darkness Burning

1) Kindle

When Anna hugs her parents goodbye, she hugs them with the certainty that they will return.

When Elsa curtseys her parents goodbye, she curtseys with the horrible fear that they will die.

* * *

Three weeks later, King Agdar and Queen Idun return. Anna hugs them again, laughing and joking, telling them about the chaos she caused while they were away, asking what they saw and how their trip was.

Later, they slip into Elsa's room to say hello.

Her smile is so relieved that Agdar's heart clenches.

* * *

There is no doubt that Elsa will one day be queen. What is in doubt is her marriage prospects.

"I can't," she says each time her parents suggest suitors. "What if…"

Agdar agrees. "Her powers are too strong," he says to Idun late one night. "All it would take is for her to lose control once. Her husband would be in danger. She'd never be able to live with herself. And then there are the diplomatic repercussions."

Idun rolls her eyes. "What's she going to do when we're both gone? She's never killed anyone she's met, you know."

But the memory of Anna, small and slowly freezing, hangs in the air and Idun finally agrees that there is a difference between ruling from afar and living every day with another.

Then there is Anna. She is sixteen – nearly of marrying age. And although she acts happy, they can both see how she chafes at being cooped in a castle.

"Elsa need not marry immediately," Agdar says, "but we could look for Anna." He smiles. "Perhaps someone who lives somewhere sunny. She'd like that."

Idun smiles. "There has to be snow. She never goes a winter without making a snowman."

Agdar hesitates. "Maybe it would be better if…"

Knocks on a door that never opens. He's watched – they've both watched – that ritual. Until, one day, there were no more knocks. Just small snowmen, missing something, if only he could work out what.

(Elsa's snowmen, which would sit in the corner of her room around the same time, also missed something after that.)

"No," Idun says firmly. "Somewhere with snow in winter." She laughs suddenly. "Listen to us. We haven't even talked about who the suitor should _be_."

"A prince?"

"Or maybe one of our nobles. It'll have to be someone … special. With an interesting sense of humour."

Agdar freezes. "Good God," he says. "We'll _never_ find anyone who wants to talk to portraits."

"Well, not if we start with that, we won't. We'll tell Anna to make that a seventh or eighth meeting question."

* * *

Anna is not thrilled at the idea.

"That's not how love _works_," she says. "You don't fall in love by pushing people together."

"We won't make you do anything you don't want to," Idun says. "But there are other things at play here. Alliances, for one. And Elsa will need an heir."

Anna blushes. "I don't … hey, why can't _Elsa_ make an heir? I mean not make but she can marry and then she can sleep … not sleep, obviously you don't _sleep_ when you … do you … wait, what?"

Idun laughs and strokes her daughter's hair. "I am not having this talk with you again, Anna."

Anna is still bright red. "I didn't mean … but you didn't say, why can't Elsa have her own child?"

Idun's hand pauses momentarily. "You know what your sister's like. Your father and I think…"

But Anna shakes her head. "There's someone out there for her. There's someone for everyone."

"If you don't want to…"

Anna thinks of what her parents want and of closed doors and wanting to be with someone, _anyone_, who would let her in.

And then she thinks of Elsa, so reclusive, being forced to meet people, shying away, trying to hide...

"I'll do it," she says. "But _only_ if you don't do this to Elsa."

"I promise," Idun says.

* * *

Elsa is not thrilled at the idea.

"That's not how love works," she says softly, watching her father from her desk. "You can't push Anna at people and hope they'll fall in love."

Agdar shivers. "We won't make her do anything she doesn't want to. But we need to open our borders at least slightly. Besides, we think she'll enjoy not being in the castle. And…" He coughs.

Her eyes pinpoint him. "And?"

He wonders how Idun managed with Anna. She wouldn't tell him – just said that Anna had agreed.

"Elsa, when you're queen, you'll need an heir after Anna."

Ice suddenly covers the desk and it takes all of his courage to stand there and face his eldest daughter. "Anna is _more_ than a womb."

Despite the snow flurries, part of him is grateful for the spark of life she's showing.

"I know. We know." He holds his hands up placatingly. "As I said, if Anna meets the suitors and hates every single one of them, we'll stop. But, Elsa, how do you think your mother and I met?"

"Have you spoken to her yet?"

He nods. "She agreed to it."

The snow hangs in mid-air.

* * *

As she walks down the empty corridor, a door clicks shut. Curious, she turns around. Elsa stands there, arms wrapped around herself. Anna gapes.

"Hi," Elsa says softly.

"Hi. Uh, hi. Hello. Um, how are you?"

This is Elsa. Outside her room. Talking to Anna. Of her own accord. Not because of class or dinner.

"I'm well, thanks. You?"

"I'm good. Great. You look really good. I mean, you always look good, not like me, I ripped my dress. But you look really good today. Aren't you hot with those gloves on?"

Elsa's fingers twist in her dress. "I wanted to ask you something."

Anna takes a few steps forwards, trying to savour each moment. "Yeah?"

"Do you plan to meet the suitors?"

She knows then. Somehow, Anna is unsurprised. She nods. "I said I would."

"Do you want to meet them?"

Anna wants to smile, to make Elsa feel better because she doesn't look at all like Elsa, standing in the corridor, arms wrapped around herself, as though freezing.

"I didn't want to when Mother asked," she says, "but I think so. I don't get to meet many … people here. And it would mean a lot to Mother and Father."

"You're sure?"

"Why are you so worried, Elsa?"

Elsa glances away. "Mother once said sisters need to look out for each other when no one else will."

Warmth fills her but, at the back of it, she can't help wondering where this has been for the past eleven years.

"I'm fine. Elsa, this was always going to happen. You're going to be queen and I'm … me."

Elsa is silent. She mutters something, too quietly for Anna to catch. Then she says, "If that's what you want then I suppose this is what you'll have to do."

"You're not … mad, are you? I mean angry, obviously you're not crazy, at least I don't think so. I guess I wouldn't know … wait, what?"

Elsa's lips quirk but then they settle. "I'm not mad. I didn't think you'd want to do it."

"I guess there's a lot about me you don't know."

She doesn't mean to say it and instantly puts her hands to her mouth, as though that will take the words back. Elsa barely reacts.

"If that's how you feel."

"Elsa, I didn't mea-"

The door slams shut and Elsa is gone.

* * *

Agdar and Idun worried that Anna wouldn't like any of the suitors but the opposite happens. Anna likes them but they eventually turn her down. The third suitor explains.

"I'm sorry," he says, while Anna sobs in her room. "She's wonderful, really. I … I feel like she's fallen in love with an idea of me. I mean, we don't know each other yet but she's so _attached_ to me. I can't do that to her. I don't want her to wake up one day and realise it's me she married, not Prince Charming."

The words sting despite the lack of rebuke. Idun sits down and talks to Anna about the importance of taking things slowly and Anna nods and says she's trying but then…

She improves but she is still attached to anyone who shows willing. Her parents intervene once or twice. They only have a few suitors left when Anna finally meets one she doesn't instantly like. He's a quiet, serious young man and when Anna comes back from their first meeting, she sighs.

"He's so dull," she says. "I don't think he even knows how to laugh."

Idun decides this might be a good thing and implores Anna to have a second meeting. She agrees because there has to be _someone_ out there for her and maybe Prince Joachim of the Southern Isles is it.

They start in one of the palace wings and head towards the gardens. As they walk, he looks around and shivers.

"Why do you shut all the doors here?"

Anna hesitates. "What do you mean?"

"I'm sorry," he says carefully. "I'm just curious. When I came here yesterday, everything was shut and today as well. Are you scared of cold?" He smiles to take the sting out of his words and she finds herself thinking that he has a nice smile.

"It's been this way since I was little," she says. She looks at him properly. Tall, with brown hair and glasses. Older than she is, by about seven years – the oldest suitor she's seen so far, in fact. "What's it like, where you live?"

He tells her about the Southern Isles. Warm and rainy for most of the year, with snowfall in the dead of winter. Their palace is big. Large gardens. Council rooms, doors open to everyone.

"It has to be, I suppose. There _are_ thirteen of us."

"Of you?"

"Princes of the Southern Isles. I have two younger brothers and ten older brothers."

"Wow." She thinks about what her parents said, about the need for alliances and trade. "How does an eleventh son end up being the one sent to, uh, woo me?"

"My older brothers are mostly sorted and the two who aren't sorted aren't for good reason. As for my younger ones … Josef is also engaged and Hans … well, it's more respectful if I come than he. And he wants to travel, we think. It's hard for him, being the youngest of us."

They continue their walk. She asks about his brothers. He tells her about pranks they played on each other and wars they fought for each other. He asks about Elsa but she heads him off with more questions. He is a prince but he knows he will never be king. He doesn't seem to mind, preferring his study and time alone to telling people what to do. She asks what he does, if he's not being groomed to be king.

"You'll laugh."

She doubts that.

"I mainly work on policy but, uh, I'm also in charge of planning balls and events. As of last year."

The Southern Isles suddenly sounds remarkably gloomy.

"What do you do in them?"

"Well, so far, my only policy has been to get the Duke of Weselton to attend as many as possible. You must know him, Arendelle is one of his biggest trade partners." She shakes her head. He smiles. "Well, you see, he's not a pleasant man but he _thinks_ he can dance. It looks something like this."

He flails his limbs wildly, shouting that he is a chicken. She giggles at the sight of this quiet man acting so ridiculously. Hearing her giggle, he laughs too.

"You see?" he says. "I can't possibly hire better entertainment than that. I mean, I usually end up having to apologise to the girls he dances with but so far, no one's caught on to what I'm doing."

"So, he dances … like _this_?" She tries to copy Joachim's movements. She nearly loses her balance but he pulls her back by her dress, making them both laugh even more. His laughter is quiet but she likes the sound of it. Around them, snow begins to fall. She catches a snowflake on her hand and looks at Joachim as though seeing him for the first time.

"Say," she says hesitantly. "Do you want to build a snowman?"

* * *

Elsa hears them outside her room.

"I don't know. Sometimes, I think of something and I think, I gotta tell Joe. Other times, I go hours and then I remember I'm meant to see him and I think what'm I gonna say?"

"That's normal, dear."

"But everyone always says I don't know when to stop talking and then I think, what if he _knows_ that and I stand there and I don't know what to say."

"OK, you not talking isn't normal but I mean the feeling."

"It's not like the stories."

"Love rarely is."

Elsa, for her part, only notes that Joachim has become Joe, and that he has lasted longer than the others. She wants to ask Anna for more information but then Anna will trip over her words and say something insensitive and…

Anna falling, unconscious before she hits the floor.

Conceal, don't feel. Don't let them know.

She turns back to her books. If Anna is happy then she is happy.

* * *

On the eighth meeting, they're walking through the portrait hall when Anna says, absently, "Hang in there, Joan."

Joachim turns. "Sorry?"

"Not you. Joan. The portrait." Her words catch up with her and she glances at him warily. "Um, how do you feel about talking to portraits?"

He smiles. "I'm fine with talking _to _them. It's when they talk back that I freak out."

* * *

One day, Agdar requests that Elsa join them for dinner. She's supposed to eat dinner with her family at least three days a week anyway but something important is clearly about to happen. Nodding, she follows her father down the stairs, careful to keep her hands locked to her sides.

She knows what they're going to say when she sees Joachim sitting at the table. They've met once, briefly. He stands up and bows a bow to a royal heir. She curtseys, the way she was taught to curtsey to a minor prince of a foreign land.

Small talk fills the room for the first half of the meal. Joachim tries to speak to her once or twice and she is polite but distant. She watches him keenly, however. He and Anna are slightly stiff around each other. Joachim seems uneasy while Anna's jokes are almost too loud.

And yet. They laugh. They joke. They talk and while she doesn't look ecstatic, Anna looks … happy. Not in love but Elsa could see them _being_ in love.

Her father knocks his spoon against his glass and says that Anna and Joachim are to be married shortly after Anna's eighteenth birthday. Elsa manages to smile despite the feeling of darkness rising.

* * *

Later, Anna sees Elsa standing outside her room and, instinctively, knows that she is waiting for her.

"Elsa?"

Elsa turns. Her expression is blank and yet, somehow, lost.

"Hello, Anna."

Anna wants to hug her but Elsa would push her away. In everything that has happened in the last few months, she has never talked to Elsa about Joachim. But then, she never talks to Elsa about much of anything.

"Hi, Elsa. You look … cold." She wanted to say lonely but maybe that's her imagination. "I mean, weather cold, not personality cold. Except it's hard to look weather cold. Maybe if you covered yourself in snow."

"Cold?" Now there's an amused smile on Elsa's face.

"You're kinda hugging yourself. And you've got your gloves on."

But she always wears those. Something to do with germs.

"I'm fine." She looks at the gloves and then back at Anna, the smile flickering away. "So. You're to marry him."

"Yes."

"Do you love him?"

"Yes," she says but she can feel the lie burning through her. She _likes_ him. It doesn't feel like she thought love would.

He likes her too. Maybe even loves her. He's smart, he can be funny, he's nice but she's never sure when to stop speaking around him. She never knows what's OK and what isn't.

They have a year and a half to work that out. Mother and Father are right. They _need_ this.

Elsa nods. "Where will you live?"

"I think with him. For a short time at least. If … when I'm needed here, we'll return."

It won't be for forty years at least. It _can't_ be.

"You're leaving, then."

She tries to smile but Elsa still looks somehow lost. "At least you won't have anyone bothering you when you want to be alone."

Elsa doesn't smile. "I know."

* * *

Anna marries Joachim shortly after her eighteenth birthday. Her father gives her away and her mother watches from the aisles, tears streaming down her face.

Elsa is not there.

* * *

Afterwards, her father comes to see her.

"She's gone, then?"

"They're leaving for the Southern Isles tomorrow."

Elsa is stone-faced. "I'm happy for her."

* * *

Anna slips into her new life in the Southern Isles with the same subtlety she applies to everything she does. By the third day, she's befriended four of Joachim's brothers, their parents and several members of the waiting staff.

They live away from the palace but the city is small enough that they can go back and forth. Everyone welcomes her and for the first time, she thinks maybe she can live this life.

* * *

Elsa spends more time locked in her room. Studying, she says, though for what, she can't say.

Her parents speak to her often. They occasionally draw her out for official functions but it feels as though conversation between them has slowed.

Once, Idun asks whether Elsa is shunning them because of Anna.

Elsa says no. Because it's more than that. She can hardly fault her parents for being responsible monarchs, nor for allowing something that Anna agreed to. But now, she feels this darkness in the back of her mind. Before, she could keep it at bay – she could watch Anna, always laughing, always smiling, always _alive_ and it would be enough. She could do all of this, knowing she was doing the right thing.

Now, she has only images of her sister in a foreign land, married to a man she doesn't love, and she thinks, _I saved her for that?_

The darkness consumes her and she feels lonely and alone and what's the point of waking up if she can't go anywhere or do anything?

Conceal it, don't feel it.

Feel what?

* * *

Anna returns to Arendelle once in that first year – for Elsa's coming of age party. The conversation between the sisters is stilted and Elsa retires early, while Joachim and Anna attempt to follow the Duke of Weselton as subtly as they can.

They leave the next morning, bowing and curtseying their goodbye to Elsa.

* * *

Anna sends letters to everyone in the castle. Her parents reply and so do some of the servants. Elsa sends nothing.

Anna still sends her thick essays.

* * *

Elsa keeps the essays until she accidentally soaks them.

* * *

One day, Agdar and Idun knock on her door. She is thin now, and she avoids their eyes when they look her up and down.

"Come downstairs," Agdar says. "There's something we want you to see."

"I can't."

"Yes, you can, dear," Idun says, starting to reach out for her hand before realising what she's doing. "We'll be with you." She smiles. "You'll want to see this." Then, softer, "Please, Elsa? For us?"

Elsa only leaves for official duties now. People talk but the royals' reclusive nature is well known. Try as she might, Idun cannot close her ears to those who talk about Elsa's too-pale skin, the shadows under her eyes, the cold tone in her voice.

It's for the best. All of this, it's for the best.

Elsa nods and stands up. She steps carefully, as though worried that even that act will cause damage. In silence, they walk to the entrance hall. Idun stands to one side and says, "Anna's home."

Elsa's eyes widen and she even smiles, but it's her regal smile. "Anna," she says, slightly huskily but otherwise blandly pleasant. "Welcome home."

Anna clings to Joachim's arm. She looks well. Her skin is tanned and there's a glow in her cheeks. They've obviously been feeding her well too. Joachim bows, ever the proper gentleman, except Anna forgets to release his arm and he nearly pushes her over.

That's normal.

Except they _both_ fuss over her and that isn't.

They eat dinner together. Anna talks excitedly of her life with Joachim, gesturing too wildly and knocking wine onto her husband. She had always thought of Joachim as a man who wore white but his clothes are dark. From his non-reaction to the spill, she suspects it may be a regular occurrence in the Westergaard household.

Anna barely touches her dinner, though she eats her vegetables rapidly.

Anna asks Elsa about her time and Elsa responds in that bland, regal manner. She keeps stealing glances at Anna when she thinks no one is looking. Idun only notices because _she_ is stealing glances at Elsa when no one is looking. Anna's plate is not the only one that is curiously full.

Anna forgoes dessert, something even Elsa doesn't manage.

Afterwards, Idun corners Anna and Anna blushes as soon as Idun looks at her stomach.

"Well, I don't need to ask now," Idun says and Anna blushes further. "It's nothing to be embarrassed about," she adds. "I'd have been worried if you two _weren't_-"

"Mother!" Anna smiles and places her hands on her stomach. "Is it that obvious?"

"Your embarrassment or your pregnancy?" Seeing Anna's expression, she laughs. "I noticed but I don't know if your father or sister did. I hope you plan to tell them?"

"I wanted to, tonight." She pauses. "Mother, is Elsa … OK? She looks thin. Thinner than usual. And tired but she must be sleeping loads 'cause I bet she's still not leaving her room and I can't think what _else_ she could be doing in there so…"

If it were Agdar, he'd tell Anna that Elsa was fine. Idun has never been able to lie so easily.

"She's having a difficult time. She misses you."

Anna's eyes soften. "I miss her too. Hey! You could all visit us out there! That would be awesome. I could show you the mountains though Joachim never lets me up them on my own because he says I'd fall down. But he'd let me take you up there because he thinks Father's sensible and Elsa would never let me fall."

"Maybe one day," Idun says, knowing that Elsa will never go. "But, for now, I think I'll retire to bed. Tell everyone your good news at dinner tomorrow." She pauses. "This is something you want, isn't it?"

Anna nods vigorously. "I love him already. Her already. It already. I don't want to call it an it but I don't know what it's, he's, she's, gonna be. Joe's happy as well. He cried when I told him and said I wasn't allowed to tell any- oops."

Idun laughs. "I won't tell him. But I am serious about going to bed."

Anna kisses her cheek. "Goodnight, Mother." As Idun begins to leave, Anna says, "Mother? Does it hurt as much as they say?"

"Yes," Idun says. She turns to smile at Anna. "But it's worth it."

* * *

The next day, Anna announces that she is pregnant. Elsa watches her mother's knowing smile and her father's jubilance. Joachim stands with his arm proudly around Anna.

Anna turns to her and with her, everyone's eyes follow. She is expected to say something and firstly, she thinks that Anna is only nineteen and too young to have a child. Then she thinks of a small child, _Anna's_ child, growing up with strawberry-blonde hair and Joachim's stature. A child who will love to build snowmen, with Anna's fierce optimism and Joachim's dry wit.

She falls in love.

And she hates that there will be another member of the family she cannot be allowed near because if she loathes what she's doing to Anna now, she will feel a million times worse if so much as a snowflake accidentally lands on that child's head.

"That's wonderful," she says and she can't stop the emotion in her voice. "Congratulations, Anna, Joachim. You'll be fantastic parents."

She doesn't hug them or move at all but the joy on Anna's face at getting a reaction from Elsa is almost painful to behold.

* * *

Anna departs before Elsa has a chance to say anything to her.

That's not quite right.

Anna departs before Elsa can summon the courage to walk up to her and talk to her. Gone are the days of being able to wait for her little sister outside her room, where she is only two footsteps away from sanctuary. She does not want to share her conversations with Joachim. So Anna leaves and with her, takes all of the questions Elsa wants to ask.

Like whether she's happy.

Like whether she still eats chocolate and plays in the snow.

Like whether she's learnt to be quiet.

Like what she wants to call her child.

And other questions, questions which make Elsa blush just to think of them – how Anna fell in love; how she felt when she learnt she was pregnant; how it feels to _touch_ someone like that.

But she's not upset because she has never been able to ask Anna her questions.

* * *

"She still wouldn't speak to me. She barely came out to talk to us. I wish I knew what I _did_."

"Why do you think _you_ did something?"

"Who's been ignoring who for fourteen years? We were best friends when I was little-"

"When you were five." Joachim fiddles with his glasses. "Anna, I don't want to sound patronising but when children are five, they'll be friends with anyone. Maybe Elsa grew apart from you and didn't wa-"

"That's not true." Anna takes a step towards her husband. "Elsa _loves_ me. I'm sure of it. She's … you just haven't seen her good side. She's funny and sensible and loyal and … and … she hates me."

* * *

Elsa begins to attend negotiations with her father. They worry that she will become angry but, much like Anna's reaction to suitors, the opposite happens. Elsa's style is ice-cold. Barely speaking, barely reacting, the most anyone can get out of her – once – is a gradual drop in temperature. Her father jokingly begs her to think of the people who can't deal with cold. She flinches away and apologises. After that, she watches, hands clenched under the table as she focuses on keeping the temperature of the room at the same level as it was when she walked in.

Her table is covered in books. Books of law, books of trade charters, books of accounts, books of history. She has read much of it during her years of isolation and once, she thought that could be enough. Yet now, when she opens the books, she thinks of Anna, glowing and pregnant. Or Kai and Gerda, friends both in and out of work. She's lonely and she hates it and-

Conceal it, don't feel it; don't let it show. Don't let them know. Don't mess up. Be a good girl. She can't do anything right and it has to be enough.

* * *

"I _hate_ you."

"Anna-"

"Never never never why did you do this you horrible meanie next time you can have the child and it hurts and is there chocolate you better have chocolate waiting."

* * *

"Anna, do you want to see your son?"

A smile lights up her face, the weariness already evaporating. She holds her arms out and takes the small bundle.

"He's beautiful."

* * *

_Dear Elsa_

_I've written to Mother and Father but wanted to tell you myself. I gave birth to a baby boy. His name is Elias and he's so cute. I can't stop watching him. I wish you could see him. You'll have to visit, or we'll have to bring him. Here's a picture I drew. Joe's a better drawer but I wanted to be the one to show you._

_Love_

_Anna_

* * *

"Elsa, we have something to tell you. You have a nephew."

"I know." Elsa smiles. Perhaps he's biased but when Elsa smiles, it's as though the world lights up. "She sent me a letter. Did she send you a drawing?"

"Is _that_ what it is?" Agdar frowns at the sketch. "Oh. Uh. Will she notice if I lie and say it looks just like him? It's not as though we know what he looks like. Do you think he actually looks like this?"

"I'd still think he was handsome," she says defiantly and his heart leaps. "But maybe don't say that. Joachim might think it's an insult. I assume he's seen the sketch."

They laugh and if he can look past the premature lines and the deepening shadows under her eyes, he thinks that she is one of three (now four) of the most beautiful people he knows.

* * *

_Anna_

_I can't quite tell what he looks like from your picture – could Joachim send me one instead? – but as far as I can see, he looks beautiful. Please tell Elias (please tell me this is a joke, by the way?) that his Aunt Elsa loves him._

_Elsa_

* * *

"Anna? Are you OK?"

"Yeah, I-" She sniffs and looks over at the cot. "Elsa wrote back."

* * *

"Where's Elsa?"

Agdar and Idun don't trade looks but only because they've practiced this moment on the boat over several times.

"She's having her first go at being queen. She'll … maybe next time."

"Of course," Anna says, beaming wildly. "Next time."

* * *

"See, now was that so bad?"

Elsa shivers; an unnatural sight. "I dealt with everything but they resented me. I don't know the people at all."

"But nothing…"

She's shaking now. "No, but I … those portraits in that hall are gone."

"It's fine," Idun says instantly.

"No, it isn't. I c-can't keep committing r-random acts of v-v-vandalism." Tears start to slide down her face. Agdar reaches forwards and she steps backwards, sweeping her arm as she does. A wall of ice appears in the hall. "I'm sorry! I didn't want to hurt you. It's getting stronger, I didn't mean to do that, I-"

"It's fine, Elsa," Agdar says, more firmly. "The point is, you handled everything well and you're upsetting yourself over nothing." He tries to smile. "Dry your tears. Please? For me?"

"OK," she sniffs, feeling thirteen rather than twenty-three. She bites her lip. "How are Anna and the baby?"

"They're wonderful. Elsa, maybe next time, you should come with us?"

"I should," she says because, no matter what they say, she's caused enough damage this week.

* * *

Months pass and Elsa can't bring herself to write more than a couple of lines. She shouldn't be writing at all but she's desperate to hear about her nephew, and, through that, Anna. Somehow, it's acceptable to ask occasional questions about Anna and Joachim in these letters.

It's a dangerous game she's playing and when she nearly freezes her chair in a negotiation session and destroys half the furniture in her room, she realises that she can _never_ meet him.

Suddenly, the idea of becoming a queen is laughable. Maybe she doesn't have to be sociable but she can't rule from behind a door. She'll have to meet people and how can she do that when she nearly, oh God, she nearly froze her mother's arm just last week?

She's concealing, she's concealing as much as she can and it _isn't working_.

That darkness, the one that's always there, it grows and on some days, it's a struggle to get out of bed. On those days, she burns in that darkness.

She's like a rabid dog.

She even had to rely on her sister to procure her an heir.

Her sister, charming, friendly and married to a prince who's (probably) sensible. Anna would make a better queen. She may have spent many of their classes drawing or daydreaming but she's a fast learner.

At least no one else can feel the darkness. At least she's learnt to conceal that, even if she still feels it.

* * *

Anna announces that they're planning another visit, over her son's first birthday. Elsa's heart clenches because he and Anna will be here and she feels as though no matter what she does, nothing turns out right.

She's lost weight, she knows. Yet she can still act regal, she can still think, and really, who's going to see her?

But she hears the whispers, and, in the back of her mind, the smoke from that darkness swirls around, hissing that she can't be any sort of a ruler if she won't even leave the palace. And if anyone finds out about her…

And how can they not?

It would be better for everyone if…

She makes icicles and watches them smash as they hit the floor.

* * *

"Elsa? Elsa, we're coming in."

Twisted ice up the walls, spikes littering the floor, demonic snowcreatures – one _moving_ – and in the middle of it all…

"Elsa!"


	2. Burn

_**Disclaimer: I do not own** Frozen_

_**Review reply to **Anonymous_: Hey, thanks for the review. I'm glad you liked the first chapter and especially glad that you couldn't spot any grammar mishaps (in my job, typos and bad grammar are terrible - they even gave us a book on English grammar before we started. Good to see it's finally taking hold!). Not sure if you realised it's a three-chapter story so possibly you aren't reading this but, if you are, I hope you enjoy the remainder as much!

**A/n: **Second chapter as promised. Hope you all enjoy!

2) Burn

Joachim finds her sobbing and snorting. Instantly, he's by her side, holding her, soothing her, and feeling completely out of his depth because Anna almost never cries.

She hands him a letter. He scans it and his heart nearly stops.

"I have to go back." She stands up straight, eyes red and puffy.

Joachim glances nervously at the cot. "I … should I come as well?"

Anna shakes her head. "Stay. I think the last thing they need is more people." She bites her lip. "I don't know when I'll be back. We were planning to travel in two months anyway, maybe you could…"

He nods, glad that she's come to this decision. He wouldn't know what to say and his son is not yet old enough to travel to Arendelle.

"If you change your mind," he says, "let me know."

She kisses him on the cheek. "I'm sorry, Joe. I don't want to leave both of you but-"

"I understand." He draws her close. It's not her words but her lack of words that scare him. More so than the words on the paper. "Leave as soon as you can. We'll follow in a couple of months. You're _not_ being a terrible mother, Anna," he adds. "I'd do the same if we were in Arendelle and I received that letter about any of my brothers." He tries to smile. "Part of being married is being a tag-team."

"I love you," she whispers into his chest.

"I love you too," he says.

* * *

When she opens her eyes, everything is as blurry as her dreams. She hears voices. Her mother, sobbing over her body. Her father's voice filled with quiet rage. A clinical voice, diagnosing her as ill. An illness of the mind, the voice says, not of the body.

In her dreams, there is nothing but an endless spiral of fiery darkness. She falls but never lands. She hears everyone she loves and everyone she is charged with protecting, screaming.

She lies on a bed but doesn't know where or why. One of her parents is always by her side and sometimes, she thinks she has conversations with them. They cry when they think she's asleep, and she freezes her tears when she knows they're awake.

No one will leave her alone. They will never leave her alone again.

* * *

The ship travels a week-long journey in five and a half days and it is still not fast enough.

* * *

She opens her eyes to see a woman with strawberry-blonde hair and blue eyes, staring down at her. She closes her eyes and then reopens them.

Still there.

She breathes in.

Anna is there, solid and breathing and _there_.

* * *

Elsa lies on the bed and looks nothing like the sister Anna remembers. Where she was slender, now she is thin. Her beautiful hair is messy in the style that hers is when she wakes up. Her blue eyes are dull.

The room is freezing, despite it being summer. Somehow, she imagined it being smaller, and filled with colour, but it's white. There are no pictures, only marks that show portraits hung there once.

She refuses to look at Elsa's wrists.

"Hi," she says, focusing on those dull, blue eyes. "Um, how's it going? You don't have to answer that. Uh, so, how are you feeling? I mean, feeling better? No, wait, you really don't have to answer that. I could go get some chocolate if that would help. You like chocolate, right? Oh! Actually, I have some with me from the Southern Isles. Oh, Elsa, you haven't tried chocolate until you've been there. I mean, it's not like our chocolate and … wait, what? Why am I talking about chocolate at a time like this?"

There's a strange noise from the bed.

"Elsa?"

The strange noise repeats and a small smile plays on that sunken face. Laughter. Elsa is laughing. She tucks her stray blonde lock behind her ear as she tries to fathom this.

"Um … is that a yes to chocolate?"

Elsa starts to push upwards; Anna takes a step forwards. She reaches out and _Elsa reaches back_.

She flinches away at the last second but it's enough.

"Anna," she says and her voice sounds rusty, as though unused for a very long time. "You're here?"

"Mother and Father sent word of what you … that you were ill."

"But … Joachim? Your son?"

"They'll come too. In a couple of months. Think of me as the advance party. Or the party for that matter 'cause Joachim's better at planning them and babies aren't that good at dancing though I reckon ours will-"

"You came for me."

"Of course I came for you," she says as Elsa flinches from her touch. "What made you think I wouldn't?"

* * *

Elsa knows she should chase her away, knows that every second she sits there is a risk to her health – she's shivering from the cold already – but Anna's filled the afternoon with her cheerful conversation and Elsa can't bear to send her away. She came back. After everything Elsa did, _Anna came back_.

"You didn't really call your son Elias, did you?"

"Yes! Why would I constantly call him Elias in my letters if that wasn't his name?"

"Well, you followed Kai around for a month once, hiding his left shoe whenever he took it off…"

"When I was _ten_, Elsa. I'll have you know that I'm a grown woman with a husband, a house, a job, a child and-"

"Milk on your face?" Anna immediately wipes her mouth and Elsa laughs. Anna giggles even as she wags a finger at Elsa.

"I'm telling on you. You lied to me."

"You haven't drunk any milk." Anna tries to stop giggling but can't and that only makes Elsa laugh more. She can't remember the last time she laughed like this. Yet at the back of her mind, there's that darkness, warning her, reminding her, Anna flying, Anna falling. "Why Elias?"

Anna sticks her chin out defiantly. "Because Joe's family wanted to call him something ridiculous and Joachim said if _I _picked the name, he could get away with rejecting his family's choice. And he wanted Albert so…"

"But why Elias?"

"Compromise."

She wants to challenge it but part of her warms at the idea that Elias may have come from Elsa and not from compromise.

* * *

"Where's Anna?"

"Ssh." Agdar gestures to Elsa's door and opens it quietly. They quietly put their heads through the doorway. Elsa slumbers on her bed, twitching slightly. Anna sits in the chair, snoring, the tip of her toes just touching the cloth on Elsa's gloved hand, draped down the side of the bed.

Idun leans back and smiles at her husband. Hand in hand, they walk back to their room.

* * *

"You have to leave!"

"What? But I-"

"Go _away_, Anna."

* * *

"I don't know what I did wrong this time. I thought we were finally going to be friends again."

Idun rubs her back. "Elsa's going through a difficult time, Anna. She's ill."

Anna feels uncomfortably warm after the chill of Elsa's room. "Is that all?"

"Whatever do you mean?"

The expression on Elsa's face scared her. Not anger. Not irritation. An expression she had seen all the time while growing up. The same expression Joachim had had when Elias had fallen ill after two months. The expression she had seen in the mirror when she first read that letter.

And out of the corner of her eye, she could have sworn she saw icicles form.

"Is … is there something you're not telling me?"

Idun hesitates for the briefest of moments. "No."

Anna nods, still feeling unreasonably warm. "I'll go back tomorrow. We can work this out. I'll ask her what I did and … and it'll be better. She'll get better."

"You two are so similar." Idun smiles fondly but then the smile fades. "Anna, you know this isn't like a cold? Elsa's been ill for a long time. This isn't something she'll recover easily from. The physician said she may never fully recover."

"Not with that attitude she won't. I don't care if it takes hundreds of years – I'll do whatever I can to help her."

* * *

When Anna returns, Elsa barely looks at her. She is sitting up now, wrapped in blankets in this spookily cold room. It feels dark, even with summer sunshine pouring in, and Anna can't sit still for more than ten minutes.

There are no apologies. Anna feels as though they're back where they started. But this time, it has to be different.

* * *

There's a knocking at the door. When Elsa doesn't reply, it opens and a figure staggers in, holding something white.

"Anna?" she croaks because who else would think to come into her room holding _snow_. "What's going on?" She pauses. "Where did you get _snow_ from?"

"Made it," Anna grunts. She drops it on Elsa's floor and looks at it appreciatively. It's closer to slush than snow. "I owe the kitchen staff a week of washing up. But that's fine 'cause Birgit and Arne said they'll feed me cake while I do it." She looks up expectantly. "Well, come on."

"Come on what?"

"Let's make a snowman!"

"What?"

Anna is already rolling the slush up, ignoring the mess it makes on her carpet. After a couple of seconds, Elsa starts to step out of bed but she can't do it. She came close, so close, to killing Anna just two days ago.

"This is the body. Hmm, it's falling apart. It'll have to be a quick snowman. Are you gonna help or what?"

"Anna, why are you making a snowman?"

"She won't make herself." A smaller slush ball flops on top. Buttons appear, and a carrot. Sticks for lips. "Olga," she says.

"What?"

"Olga. A friend for Olaf." She pauses and frowns. "That's a funny idea. Did we … did we ever make a snowman called Olaf?"

Her heart stops.

Just minutes before Anna falls, a conjured snowman.

Anna remembers. After all these years, Anna remembers the snowman.

"We did," she says, trying to keep her voice bland. "When we were kids. We called him Olaf and said he liked-"

"Warm hugs," Anna finishes. She grins. "Well, this is Olga, and she likes … summer. And dashing snowmen who want warm hugs."

"Snowmen and summer don't mix," Elsa says but she can't help laughing. Before she knows what she's doing, her feet are on the carpet. She staggers slightly but makes it over to Anna and Olga. She places a gloved hand on Olga and surreptitiously starts feeding ice through the tips. "Let's shape her a bit better."

Anna has been watching her hands curiously but at those words, she looks as though all her birthdays have come at once. "OK!"

They reshape Olga with Elsa ensuring she doesn't melt. It feels comforting. Not cold, although it douses the fires that race up her wrists constantly, but not warm either. At the end of it, her carpet is soaked through, Anna is chattering but Olga looks somewhat shapelier.

"Will you teach Elias to make snowmen?"

Anna nods. "Of course. But more importantly, I wanna teach him to throw snowballs at his father. Joe hates snowball fights. I can blame him and Joe won't get mad at him. It's perfect!"

"You remember that?"

Anna frowns. "Remember what?"

Does she or doesn't she? Because when Anna was three and Elsa was six, Elsa encouraged her to throw snowballs at their father when he wasn't looking. Because it was Anna, he hadn't gotten mad. Even after, up until Anna was twelve and she was fifteen, she'd suggest it to Anna, whenever Anna said she was bored and they walked back from lessons.

"Never mind."

For a while, they sit in silence. Anna keeps stealing glances at her. With a sudden rush of shame, Elsa realises that she must be looking at her wrists.

"Snowmen aren't that dirty, you know," Anna says softly. "You could take the gloves off."

"I can't."

And Anna accepts it because this is Elsa being weird. Elsa who's ill and God knows what else she would do if given even a second to herself.

"This was fun," Anna says. "Tomorrow, let's try it outside!"

* * *

They don't try it outside but Olga sits in the corner of the room. More than once, Anna expresses surprise at Olga's survival and even warns Elsa about sitting in a freezing room. Elsa simply shrugs it off.

She can't say how Elsa is. On some days, Elsa is happy. She laughs and jokes and it feels as though she has a sister again, one she's finally getting to know and one she likes. On other days, she's unreachable, locked in some prison only she can see. On most days, she's a mix, close to the sister she grew up with. Sometimes, she works – on trade agreements, on petitions, on general royal business, and Anna wants to say she's crazy but maybe it helps.

Her parents worry. They don't say it but she can see it. She wants to shout at them to let her in, because, despite what everyone says, she _is _an adult. She left her son behind to be with them – on some days, she aches with longing for him – and they act as though she can't understand how it feels to have an ill child.

But she can't say any of this. She never can.

On one day, she sits with Elsa looking everywhere but at those wrists, when Elsa says, "Can … can I ask you a weird question?"

"I love weird."

Elsa's fingers play with each other and Anna isn't supposed to look there. "You're happy, aren't you? With Joachim?"

"Yes." She tries to smile. "I wasn't sure at first but … he's like you, you know. Quiet but with a funny side. He picks me up when I fall down. And he usually says sorry first when we argue. And … I dunno, I like him. Love him."

Elsa's cheeks begin to turn red. "What does … it … feel like?"

"It? Love?" Elsa shakes her head. "Uh … Joachim? He's a he. Or he was last time I checked. I … Elsa?"

Elsa is crying.

Anna reaches to hug her but Elsa flinches away and is it her imagination or is it colder in here?

At the bottom of the bed, something begins to glisten. She stands up because it's _spreading_. But before she can look, Elsa says, "Don't!"

Anna stops. "What is it?"

"Promise me you won't look."

"I promise," Anna says hastily. "Please, at least tell me what's wrong?"

"You'll think it's silly."

"Never."

Elsa gulps and her eyes flicker to the strange sparkling mass at the end of the bed that Anna is forbidden to look at. Then the eyes meet hers. "It's just … I've never kissed anyone. I … wanted to know how it felt."

"_Never?_" But then she realises, of course she hasn't. Anna hadn't until she met Joachim. Elsa almost never leaves her room, let alone the palace. No suitors. Nothing. "It's … great," she says and winces at the lame wording. "It's beautiful," she says. "When you're with someone you love, it's like chocolate or wine." She grins and the beginnings of a shaky smile appear on Elsa's face. "I know! We could go find someone! Let's sneak out. Maybe you'll meet the one. It'll be fun, we could-"

Elsa shakes her head. "I can't."

"Why not?" Elsa looks away. "Elsa, why can't we just leave? You always say can't. Is there anything you _can _do?" She winces again. "Wait, I didn't mean it like that. I meant there's loads and loads of stuff you can do … so why don't you?"

The glittering is on the floor and her breath is visible.

"You need to leave," Elsa says softly.

"Elsa-"

"Please!"

Anna leaves, nearly slipping on the way out.

* * *

Anna bursts into their room. Agdar is having a rare moment of peace but he jumps up when Anna enters and realises that there is now no one with Elsa. Without a word, he bolts.

Idun worries about him. In addition to being a father and a king, he is trying hard to hide from Elsa and Anna what Elsa's illness has done. People murmur – Agdar has not confirmed exactly what has happened to Elsa. Some say she has a terminal illness. Others say she is deep in a coma. Then there are a few who whisper that she has snapped.

Dignitaries politely suggest that Anna should be renamed as heir to the throne. Agdar has so far refused but even he cannot deny the logic. Anna knows nothing of this and Idun will not be the one to tell her. Anna would never agree to replace Elsa.

"Will someone tell me what's going on?"

"Anna?"

"I'm not stupid. Come on, you guys can tell me. What's the big secret?"

"I don't know what you're talking about, dear."

Anna is not dissuaded. "I was talking to Elsa and I _swear_ ice formed on her bed. On the floor. Ice doesn't form on its own. Someone would've told me, even as a joke, 'cause it'd be hilarious. It's always freezing in there. At one point, I thought I saw icicles and whatever you say about ice, _icicles_ don't form out of nowhere. It'd have come up at some point. I mean someone would've mentioned it, not that it would make a point, 'cause icicles are good at doing that."

"Anna, listen to yourself," Idun says to buy time because this is _not_ the time to have a conversation like this. "You sound ridiculous."

Anna doesn't flinch, as she once would have done. "I know. I'm telling you ice is forming randomly in Elsa's room and I'm the only one who seems to care. Why'm I the only one who cares? She could freeze in there."

"I doubt that," Idun says before she can stop herself and it's too late to take it back. Anna is many things but she isn't stupid. The lock of platinum-blonde hair flops by her face. Suddenly, Idun feels tired of this. What has all of this gotten them? Why should they lie to Anna who has managed to get more life out of Elsa in a few weeks than she and Agdar have managed in years? "Anna," she says and her tone must convey something because her daughter instantly focuses. "Anna." She pauses. How can she say this? "There _is _something we haven't told you."

"Ha! Knew it!" She pauses. "Why not? Why would you keep something from me for all this time?"

They can't hide it from her forever.

"To save your life."

"What? I don't remember this. What happened? When did this happen? When I was a baby?"

It's not fair on her. It's not fair on Elsa.

Sisters aren't meant to be isolated. Sisters should be there for each other when no one else is.

"No. When you were five."

"When I was…" She sees the wheels turn. "When Elsa started acting weird!" Anna looks at her hands and then at Idun. "I don't understand. I remember loads of stuff from that age – why don't I remember nearly dying?" She gulps, shaking slightly. "What happened?"

Agdar will be furious, she knows, but it's for the best. That's what she has to tell herself. All of this, it's for the best.

"Ask your sister."

* * *

She doesn't sleep at all that night. She looks through letters, trying to breathe in the smell of home. Her other home. She hasn't been woken by a baby's wail for weeks and she misses it. No one has stolen the duvet. No boisterous sounds or small fingers or bright cooing.

And in the back of her mind, the question. What happened sixteen years ago?

She walks into Elsa's room as soon as she's eaten breakfast. She wishes she'd skipped it because it feels like lead in her stomach.

Elsa is looking out of the window when Anna comes in. At some point, she stopped lying down all of the time. She turns and tries to smile.

Elsa rarely tells Anna to leave immediately. Their parents must have told her that Anna had to be allowed in.

"Elsa," she says, "What happened when I was five?"

Elsa freezes. Her hands grip the windowsill. "What?"

"Mother said there's a secret. She said something happened when I was five and that I should ask you about it. I think maybe she was trying to be cool and mysterious … I could go and ask her. It's probably not important anyway. But, it's something to do with the ice and the cold, isn't it?"

"You promised you wouldn't look."

It's not a shout. It's a whisper.

"I never promised I wouldn't ask." Elsa still looks frozen. Something white lightly touches on her skin. "Elsa," she says. "When I was seven, I broke a vase and said Kai did it."

"What?"

"When I was ten," she says, taking one step forwards, "I stuffed myself with chocolate, got sick and pretended I'd gotten a stomach bug. When I was twelve, I tried to run away to go to the festival and said I wanted to leave for good. I used to have nightmares that you died in here and no one found you for weeks. When we came back from lessons or had dinner together, I was happy, even when you tried to ignore me, 'cause you were there, and then I felt pathetic 'cause I thought you hated me."

"Anna, what are you talking about?"

"I agreed to marry Joachim because Mother and Father wanted me to marry someone so that you could have an heir," she continues, taking another step forwards, her eyes locked on Elsa's. "I fell in love with Joachim closer to the wedding but sometimes, I wonder whether we should have married 'cause sometimes, we just don't click and we feel more like friends. I didn't choose to move to the Southern Isles – Mother and Father thought it'd be something I'd want, and I said fine 'cause I wanted to leave and then Gerda had to stop me from running away. On our wedding night … I loved him but it hurt and it didn't feel like the books said it would and afterwards, I left the room just so I could cry. That got better. When I moved there, I tripped and broke some priceless heirloom, so I hid it under the stairs and said the cat did it.

"When I found out I was pregnant, my first thought was absolute terror that I'd do something stupid and kill the baby. When Elias was born, I honestly thought I'd never loved anyone as much. Not even you."

"Anna-"

"Joachim didn't like me either, the first time we met, and only stuck at it 'cause the King and senior princes ordered him to wed me if he could. He was going to leave as well but then he decided to see where it went. He doesn't get on with all of his brothers. When he was younger, three of his brothers pretended Hans didn't exist for two years and he didn't help, even when Hans asked him to, and it still haunts him. He loves baked bread and steals it from the kitchens whenever we go to the palace. When Elias fell ill, he thought he was being a terrible father and I found him sobbing by Elias' cot. He steals the duvet, he can be boring, he's awkward around people, especially his family, and he's patronising."

Elsa has stopped gripping the windowsill. "Anna, why are you telling me this?"

Anna is about arm's length from Elsa. "Because," she says softly, "everyone has secrets and everyone has flaws but that doesn't mean we don't love them." She takes a breath. "Elsa, I don't care that you nearly killed me. I just want the secrets to end."

Elsa's jaw tightens. "Is that what Mother said? That I nearly killed you?"

"What? No. I … she said you've kept it secret to save my life, it happened when I was five and I should ask you so I assumed…"

"You assumed what?"

She can't back down now. "You can make ice, can't you? And control the weather? I was five and you nearly killed me with it." She sounds as ridiculous aloud as she did in her head. "That must be it. That's why you stopped speaking to me. That's why there was ice and it's freezing in here. And Olga's still here. That's why everyone says you won't marry. 'Cause you've got magic." She pauses. "But that's stupid. I mean, it's cool that you can do magic. Awesome, anyway. You could turn the hall into an ice rink!"

Elsa watches her with those steely-blue eyes. Anna starts to fidget but before she can blurt anything else out, Elsa says, "Not quite. I … I never meant to hurt you."

"I didn't think you di-"

"You were five and I was eight," she says, her eyes focused now on somewhere beyond Anna's shoulder. "I don't control weather. I create and manipulate snow and ice. You knew about my powers when we were little and we always played together. But one morning, we were playing in the ballroom and I … I missed." Elsa shuts her eyes and the gloved hands clench. But she continues. She sounds almost compelled. "You shouted for me to catch you with snow but I missed and I hit you. You fell. You were so cold and I thought you were dead so I screamed and screamed and Mama and Papa came in.

"They took us somewhere. To these trolls. They cured you but they had to take away the memory of magic. Then they said I had to control my powers and fear would be my enemy. Mother and Father suggested I switch rooms and stay away from you in case I killed you. I was supposed to learn to conceal my emotions. Don't feel. Don't let them know."

"What? That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard and I accused you of being an ice witch five minutes ago. Why did they tell you not to feel?"

"Don't you see, Anna? I was a danger to everyone until I could stop feeling scared. I couldn't go near you, not after what I did, no matter how much I wanted to. And it's not working and now you _know_."

Elsa's sobs into the silence may be the most heart-breaking thing Anna has ever heard. She makes herself take the two extra steps to touch her sister's shaking shoulders, but even in tears, Elsa moves away.

"You wanted to talk to me?"

"Every time. Every single time you came to the door."

"Then you don't hate me?"

Elsa looks up, tears streaking down her face. "Never. Never in a million years."

Anna smiles, feeling joy bubble through her. "Then there's no problem. C'mon, Elsa, it was an accident. Joachim considers it a minor miracle if I get through a day without injuring myself. Geez, what a silly thing to not tell me." She looks around. "So … what can you do?"

"You don't understand, Anna. I can't control my powers. Every second you're with me, you're in danger. You _can't_ let Elias meet me – what if I hurt him?"

"You won't," she says although she wonders if that's true.

"How do you know?"

"Do you love me?"

"Yes." She gulps. "And him."

Her heart leaps at that but she manages to stay calm as she says, "Then you won't hurt us."

"It's not that easy. I loved you when we were kids and I nearly _killed_ you."

"It's fine. I-I'm not afraid. I trust you."

But ice is forming and snow falls. "It's not that easy. Don't say things like that."

"You won't hu-"

Elsa swings a hand in frustration and Anna instinctively ducks to the floor, her chin crashing painfully into wood.

"Anna! _Anna_!"

"I'm fine, I'm fine," Anna says from the floor. She starts to stand, shakily. "That tooth was loose for ages anyway. No one needs all their teeth. It's fine."

But Elsa is shaking. "It's not. If that hit your heart, you'd be dead."

"But it didn't."

"Elias can't duck. Anna, I'm begging you, don't let me meet him."

"Elsa-"

Spikes start to form. "Leave, Anna. Please. Before I do something else."

"Elsa-"

"Go away!"

* * *

They're waiting outside because Idun told her husband what Anna was going to do. She crashes into them and blood runs from a cut on her cheek, her lip, her tooth. She wipes it away.

"How could you do that to her?"

Agdar is immediately by Anna's side, calm and quiet. "Do what, Anna? Anna, what's going on in there?"

"Oh, nothing. I mean, Elsa's freezing the place but that's apparently normal round here, except, you know, no one thought to tell me. How could you do it?"

"Is Elsa OK?"

"I don't know," Anna says, "because she's terrified she's going to kill me. Why did you tell her she's going to kill me?"

"We didn't say that," Idun says.

"Then why'd you split us up? Why'd you tell her she couldn't feel anything? 'Conceal her emotions, don't feel, don't let them know'? Who thinks like that?"

"Anna-"

Her eyes widen with horror. "It's you. Telling her not to feel. Telling her she'll kill people. Sending me away because you don't even think she can love someone without killing them. You're the ones who made her ill. You're the reason she tried to kill herself."

She runs. Neither Idun nor Agdar stop her.


	3. Embers

_**Disclaimer: I do not own **Frozen_

_**Review reply to** Anonymous_: Thanks for reviewing again and for pointing out the typo. I know I originally meant it to say "important" but am not sure why (maybe an earlier draft had a different sentence) so I've changed it. Hope you enjoy the third and final part!

**A/n: **This is the final part. Thanks for the reviews and the favourites and follows and for reading along in general. I hope you enjoy!

_9 August 2014 - some typos fixed but nothing materially altered. Many thanks to the first Anonymous for pointing them out. (If you happen to be rereading, I actually didn't know that about amount vs numbers so thanks. Typos 2 and 3 are deliberate so unchanged. In relation to "If needs be" I had to google that. The consensus seems to be that it's technically "If need be" but there is a move towards "If needs be", especially in Britain (likely where I got it from). I've not changed it since I'm not sure it is a mistake.)_

3) Embers

It's only snow now. Conceal it, don't feel it. She's calm. She feels nothing. She can do this. It's easy.

Anna doesn't hate her. Anna wanted to see her magic. Anna wanted things like ice rinks.

It's easier when she thinks of that.

Olga is almost indistinguishable from the rest of the room. She will have to clear it up. She must be the only royal princess who regularly uses a shovel, she thinks, as she heads towards her cupboard.

The door slams open and a wall of ice springs up before she stop herself. She treads around it carefully and comes face to face with her parents. Both of them stare at her, flustered. She rarely sees them flustered.

"I'm sorry," she says. She looks around at the snow. It hasn't been this bad since… since…

Fire burns up her wrists.

"Are you OK?"

She nods slowly. "I panicked. I'm sorry. Anna caught me off guard." She remembers that moment – one second away from killing her own sister – and takes a step backwards. "I … I nearly killed her."

They flinch and she takes another step back.

"Maybe you should go," she says. "I'll keep the door open. I promise I won't…"

Her father shakes his head and takes a determined step forwards, the bottoms of his trouser legs becoming soaked. "I'm not going anywhere, Elsa," he says firmly and now she knows she's in trouble. Anna. She must have hurt Anna.

"Is Anna OK? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, I-"

"Anna's fine," Idun says, joining her husband in the snow. "Anna's furious but fine."

"Anna's … furious? With me?"

Her father smiles. "Not with you. I sometimes think she's incapable of being angry with you. Not that you've done anything to deserve it," he adds hastily. "She's angry with us."

"I don't understand. Is it because I didn't-"

"You've done nothing wrong," her mother says firmly.

Elsa looks around at the utter devastation of her room. "But the room … I got scared."

"The room's fine. It'll melt. Just conce-" Her father stops suddenly.

"Conceal, don't fee-"

"No."

"Huh?"

Agdar walks towards her, stopping just shy of her. "Elsa," he says softly, "what do you think that means?"

She looks at her hands and swallows. "Hide how I feel – don't feel. If I feel, I'll lose control. And people will know." Her parents look at each other. Fear rises and she pushes it down as the blackness ignites.

"No," her mother whispers. "Anna was right."

She runs from the room, leaving Elsa with her father. "What? What did I do?"

"Nothing," he says. His voice cracks on the second syllable and he's shaking. "Oh, Elsa, we've failed you badly."

* * *

The day is a haze of silence. That night, no one sleeps.

* * *

Anna walks into Elsa's room. Her sister paces, a bewildered expression on her face. She pauses when she sees Anna. The snow is mostly gone. Olga remains in the corner.

Anna doesn't know what to say. Yesterday, the words came easily. Now that she's had time to think about the last sixteen years, she's aware of how little she understands, and exactly how close to the edge Elsa may be.

Elsa surprises her by breaking the silence first. "You came back?" Anna nods, still searching for words. This has never happened to her before. She's Anna. She _always_ has words. "You're not angry? Mother said you were angry."

"Not with you," she says. "I'm angry with them but not with you." She forces her smile onto her face and is startled to realise that she's out of practice – once, she could summon a sunny smile and attitude within a few seconds. "Feeling better?"

"Why are you angry with them?" Elsa sounds as bewildered as her expression and it makes her look young. "You're all acting strange. What did you say to them when you left?"

She bites her lip because if Elsa has as bad control as she says, this might not end well. But it's Elsa. Elsa would never hurt her. She has to believe that.

"I told them…" She can't do it. Not the whole truth. "I shouted at them 'cause of that stupid thing they told you. Don't feel? You're going to kill me? It's no wonder you…"

"Yes?" Elsa says icily.

"You've had such a hard time of it," Anna says evasively. She brightens the smile hastily. "Elsa, could you show me some magic? Uh, not the kind like spikes and a huge snow storm, but, like Olga."

"Anna-"

"Or, or, just make it snow."

"I ca-"

"Even a little bit? Just one snowman. One thing."

"You don't under-"

"Pleeeeeeeease?"

The smile that creeps over Elsa's face is the smile of Anna's memories. "Fine. Just one, then."

* * *

He is tired. Crop problems in northern Arendelle. Ice export is suffering. He's lost three ships. And then there are the rumours and the mutterings.

He treads up the stairs and bumps into Anna. They look at each other. No hatred in her gaze but still anger. He can count on one hand the number of times he has seen Anna angry.

"Excuse me," she mutters and steps around him.

He stands still as she walks down the stairs. As she hits the last step, he hears himself say, "I told her not to say it anymore."

He glances behind – she has half-turned. "She told me that. She's better, you know. When she's happy. Not that I would know 'cause I've never seen her do magic, at least not that I remember, but when she's happy, she makes beautiful stuff."

"I only meant for her to control the excesses."

Silence.

Footsteps lead her away.

* * *

Anna visits her again, the day before Joachim is due to arrive. She wants another magic display and Elsa is surprised to find herself keen to oblige. Not just because it makes Anna happy but because there's something wonderfully liberating about letting her power go. Growing up, whenever she was bored, she made patterns and sculptures. Now, she makes snow displays and models. Small snowchildren for Olga. Anna watches with unabated delight and that makes Elsa want to do more.

It feels right. _This _is what she's supposed to do.

But the darkness rages constantly and when she's alone, she relives that moment she nearly killed Anna. She hears whispers among the servants. So she can make snowmen. She can't talk to anyone. No one will leave her alone for more than thirty minutes. She's no heir. She's just Elsa. A danger. She nearly killed Anna twice.

God, it burns. Without her father's guidance, she doesn't know what to do about the darkness. Embracing it seems wrong, somehow. But what else can she do?

"I was thinking," Anna says in too casual a tone, "maybe we could go down to the city today?"

Elsa immediately stops. "No."

"Not for long. I just think we could-"

"_No_, Anna. It's dangerous enough doing this. I can't go out _there_." She looks at the scars, not quite covered by the gloves, and remembers the feel of jagged ice, perfectly formed, slicing through skin. "You should go. Meet the people."

"But they're _your_ people."

She takes a breath. "Maybe it would be better if you took my pl-"

"No. No, no, no, no, no." Anna sets her chin out defiantly. "_You're_ the queen. You're good at it. You care about things like trade agreements and negotiations. You know how to run the kingdom. And, and think of Joachim! The poor man nearly faints if he has to give a speech, you can't make him be king."

"Some people would kill to be a queen."

"Not me. If I _had_ to, I'd do it, you know that. But you're the heir and I'm your right-hand woman. We always said that. Elsa, you know more about ruling a kingdom than I do."

"But you know people better."

"I promise, if we go out there right now, you can meet people. It's funny, they tend to be outside doors."

Anna is full of trust and happiness and she doesn't understand that this isn't easy. Elsa _can't_ rule these people. Not as she is.

* * *

Idun catches Elsa holding jagged ice. Agdar and Anna run to her yells.

"I wasn't going to!" Elsa shouts.

"Why, Elsa?" Idun says. "Why now? You were doing so well."

Elsa glances at her wrists and the jagged ice that clattered to the floor when her mother yelled. "I wasn't going to. I promise." Tears are already forming. "You must believe me. I wanted to prove I could … resist it."

"Why?" This is Agdar. "Elsa, you've resisted it for all this time – what difference would the ice make?"

"Because I can still feel it burn inside me and because I can't do anything else and I thought, if I can do this … maybe … it's useless. I'm useless."

"No, you're not," Idun says firmly. "You can do anything, Elsa."

"I can't even touch people."

Idun steps forwards and wraps her arms around Elsa, ignoring the flinch and the sudden smattering of snow.

"You can do anything."

* * *

From the chaos of the night, everyone has forgotten about Joachim and Elias, and they make their own way to the palace. Joachim is more than a little annoyed but he takes one look at Anna's pale face and shadowed eyes and says, "Are you OK?"

She holds her arms out, first to hug him, and then for her son. He hands Elias over almost reluctantly – he's gotten used to having the little guy around – but the light that switches on in Anna's face is worth it. For a few minutes, she says nothing, only coos to the baby.

He wraps an arm around her shoulders and they walk together. He waits until entering her room to say, "Is she any better?"

Anna walks over to the cot but does not put Elias down. "I don't know," she says quietly. "I thought she was. We all thought she was. But she … Mother caught her last night and she _says _she wasn't going to hurt herself but… She was doing so well – she was almost _happy_ – and then…"

He holds her close, breathing in her smell. "It'll be OK," he says. "Maybe tomorrow, she can meet her nephew."

Anna hesitates. "I hope so."

* * *

Just like when she was a teenager, she watches Anna through the window. She watched Anna greet her husband and then hold the baby. Elias. Her heart skips a beat at the thought of him, more than abstract now that he is here.

And fear. Darkness burning. Whispering that she can do nothing, she is a monster, she needs to die. Jagged ice in her hands, on her wrists.

Her mother wraps arms around her and her father follows. Anna, oblivious to risk as always, leaps on the three of them.

She can still feel it.

She wasn't going to do it.

Now, Elsa watches Anna walk the grounds, holding Elias. She doesn't know if Anna has even put him down. She's talking of course but Elsa cannot read lips. It's colder now but Anna still wears her summer dress. Perhaps Anna is immune to cold now. The thought makes her smile.

She looks radiant. Not her little sister. An adult. A wife – and she and Joachim are still slightly awkward but somehow _right_ in their awkwardness. A mother.

Not a queen. Anna was right about that.

She leans on the window, trying to absorb as much detail as she can. Wind blows and she wants to feel it. She wants to see him but she can't because she could kill him.

_When I found out I was pregnant, my first thought was absolute terror that I'd do something stupid and kill the baby._

Anna has fears like that too. Anna is clumsy – to the point that her own husband jokes that she couldn't get through a day without injury – and she worries she'll hurt her son.

Her feet start to move.

_Elsa, could you show me some magic?_

She did it. She could do magic without hurting people. She just has to be careful.

Her father told her, after that strange conversation, that she should feel.

But she's so scared.

_You can do anything._

"Elsa?"

She blinks as light rain hits her. She's about to panic when she realises that she isn't causing it. This is natural.

Anna stands in front of her, holding Elias. Confused, she looks around.

Outside. She's by the palace gates, during the day, facing her little sister and her son. With people nearby. She breathes in as rain plinks on her nose.

"Hi, Elsa."

"You're going to get wet," she says because when did she come outside?

Anna blinks. "Did you come out here to tell me that?" Her eyes flicker to the bundle she carries. "We don't mind, do we, Elias? We like rain. Because we live in the Southern Isles and it rains half the time there."

Elias gurgles.

"He says he doesn't mind."

Elsa laughs. She likes the way the sound doesn't echo off walls.

"Where's Joachim?"

"Sleeping. He's still tired but the sky's awake so _we're_ awake. Or I am once Elias decided he wanted feeding. He's going to grow big and strong, probably bigger rather than stronger if he keeps eating, but that's OK because big is good."

"Every time I've seen you, you've been holding Elias," she says because she still can't work out how or why she came out here. "Are you ever going to put him down?"

"I haven't seen him for two months! Besides, I _did_ put him down, to sleep, and when Joe and I were-"

"I believe you," Elsa says. Sometimes, Anna can be a little too open in her speech. She looks at the bundle. "Can I … can I look at him?"

"Yes! Yes, of course. You can ho- sure."

She angles her arms so that Elias' face is visible. He does not look much like Anna's sketch (thankfully). Tufts of strawberry-blonde hair lie on his head, with Joachim's warm, brown eyes gazing at her.

"He's beautiful," she breathes.

"He's started to walk as well," Anna says. "I missed it but he can take a few steps now." She doesn't sound bitter. "No words yet though."

Elias reaches one small hand out but Elsa cannot move because it's one thing to be leaped on by your adult family and another to hold a child.

"Hi, Elias," she says instead, suddenly feeling ridiculous. "I'm sorry your mother gave you that name. I'm your Aunt Elsa."

"What d'you mean sorry? It's a wonderful name!"

Suddenly, she has an idea. It's a dangerous idea. She takes a step backwards. Can she do it?

_You can do anything._

Carefully, she removes one glove, and Anna watches curiously, if tensely. Then, she writes in the air with snow, _Hi Elias_.

Elias reaches for it.

She concentrates and creates a very small snowman. With shaking hands, she holds it out to Elias, who pokes it and giggles.

"My name is Oleg," she says in that gruff voice she hasn't used since she was eight, "and I love to make friends."

Anna smiles as well and it makes her heart leap but then she looks beyond Anna, at the open-mouthed guards, and the laughter dies on her lips. Anna whirls around.

"You lot look as though you've never seen a magic trick before!"

"Anna, what are you-"

"I'm sorry, Highness," one of the guards says. "That looked-"

"Surely you know that Elsa's hobby is magic tricks?"

"I, uh, no, your Highness." The poor guard looks confused. "That was, uh, pretty good, your Highness," he adds, to Elsa. "Looked like real snow."

"I have a small supply hidden," Elsa says as calmly as she can because she can hardly say that she's a witch. "Not real snow of course. I made it."

And she doesn't know what's coming over her but she finds herself creating a small snowball and chucking it at him.

The guard claps as snow teeters off his helmet. "That's amazing, your Highness! Could you do some more? Like, pulling coins from ears?"

"I'm afraid I have to look at some reports," she says quickly, "but I'm sure Princess Anna's learnt a trick or two?"

"Oh, Elsa, you know I can't do any magic."

"Yeah, no offence, your Highness, but Princess Anna's not exactly…" He seems to remember who he's talking to. "Never mind. Um, it's good to see you out here. We've been worried about you."

"I'm still ill," she says but then hears herself add, "but feeling better. I'll take my leave. Princess Anna. Prince Elias. Um…"

"Sigurd, your Highness. And, uh, this here's Rolf."

"Thank you, Sigurd. Rolf."

"Highness."

She turns and leaves. For once, the darkness is nowhere to be felt.

* * *

"Magic tricks?"

"You're the one worried about people knowing you have awesome snow powers."

"But magic tricks? What am I supposed to do if people ask me to do them?"

"Invest in a rabbit to pull from a hat?"

* * *

They eat dinner as a family that night. Joachim sits between Anna and Elias, opposite his parents-in-law. Elsa is between her mother and Anna but she looks strangely isolated. Despite himself, Joachim can't stop glancing at his sister-in-law. She was always thin but now she looks too thin. Her hair is much longer than he remembers, her skin sallow. But her eyes sparkle slightly and there's a hint of laughter in her mouth even as she says nothing and compared to his last memory of her, she looks good.

During the dinner, Elsa actually speaks to him. He can count on one hand the number of conversations he's had with her – he accepted early on that marriage to Anna included being related to this silent, cold, recluse of a princess – and he's gratified to realise he likes her. She's almost too polite and her voice almost too bland but she's smart and funny, in a different way to Anna.

"What do you plan to do tomorrow?" Elsa says and the table falls silent. Nervously, he clears his throat. Dinners with Anna's family are so much more _loaded_ than dinners in the Southern Isles where you can guarantee that most of the table isn't listening to you.

"I thought … uh, Anna mentioned a harvest festival. I thought I may have a look."

"What about me?" Anna squawks.

He smiles. "_With_ you, obviously. And Elias."

Agdar nods. "It's customary for a representative of this family to attend. It would be helpful if you and Anna were to go."

He feels the tension leave him at those words. Anna's family doesn't hate him. That's good.

"I'd like to go as well, if Anna and Joachim don't mind," Elsa says. Everyone turns to stare at her. Part of Elsa shrinks back but she juts her jaw out in the same way that Anna does. "Not for long. An hour, maybe. I'd like to see it."

He catches himself staring first. Seeing that everyone else is going to sit there as though she's grown an extra head, he decides to take matters into his own hands. "I'm happy with that if Anna is."

Anna nods vigorously. "Of course you can come, Elsa. It'll be awesome. I hear they have apple bobbing and dancing but you don't dance but that's OK, Joe's a terrible dancer so you two could wa-"

"Hey!"

She turns to him. "Sorry. I'll dance with you."

The king and queen still look startled. Then Agdar nods. "If you want to go, you should go." He smiles faintly. "I certainly won't stop you. Just be careful."

Elsa nods. He doesn't miss the look that passes between Anna and her father – he knows they've argued but he's not sure why – nor the look that passes between the king and queen. Elsa has the strangest expression on her face: a mixture of satisfaction, excitement and terror. What on earth is so noteworthy about a harvest festival anyway?

* * *

Anna sees him in the library, drinking alone. After a second of hesitation, she sits next to him. She declines his offer of a glass.

He knows he looks exhausted. His hand, however, is steady as he drinks.

"Elsa'll be fine," she says. "Joe and I will watch her."

He considers his daughter carefully. "Elsa can do it," he says slowly.

"She can."

He considers his glass. "I just worry … if she loses control…" He downs the last of the drink. "You're right. I think. She controls it better near you. The guards tell me interesting things – apparently she's training to be a magician?"

"Um…"

He laughs. "It's a good thing. I'm glad you came home, Anna."

She hugs him. For a few seconds, he's too surprised to move. Then his arms wrap around her. "I'm sorry," she whispers. "You and Mother had it hard for all these years."

"But you still think it's our fault," he says and, slowly, she nods.

* * *

They head to the festival together. Elsa is twitchy and still wearing her gloves, although that makes more sense given the cooler turn of the weather. As they walk, people stare. It's different in the Southern Isles – there, there are so many members of the Royal Family that you usually end up walking past one of them every time you go outside. Perhaps there's more to it – perhaps it's the fact that people rarely see the princesses of Arendelle.

She keeps her head high, talking all of the time to Joachim and Elsa. Joachim talks to Elsa too, asking her about books and other boring things but Elsa responds. They like each other. For a split second, she thinks that maybe Elsa and Joachim should have married. But then he turns to say something to her and the look in his eye tells her, maybe not.

"Your Highnesses," the speaker says as they approach the stage, bowing low. "Wonderful to see you. We've missed you, Princess Anna. And Princess Elsa – are you feeling better?"

Elsa has her regal smile on. "Better but still unwell. I thought the fresh air would do me good."

The man nods. "Of course, your Highness. And will you be opening the festival?"

At the festival, the royal representative is supposed to announce the opening. Anna realises that they never discussed which one of them should do it, mainly because she'd forgotten about it. If she does it, it'll suggest that Elsa is not the heir. But Elsa must have assumed she would do it. Maybe they could send Joachim. Or Elias.

She glances at Elsa and sees the hesitation in her eyes.

Joachim coughs. "Princess Elsa is still unwell. I wonder if she should be up there alone."

"It's only for two min-"

"What Joachim means is that my sister and I will do it together," Anna says, deciding on the spot that the day her parents made her meet Joachim was a day that should be marked in history as the best decision ever. "Normally, Elsa would do it alone but she's asked that I stand with her … just in case."

The speaker frowns so Anna marches forwards, hoping – no, _praying_ – that Elsa is following her onto the stage. When she's there, she stands slightly back, to let Elsa (who, thank God, _has_ followed) take the lead. People stare at them and she can't help waving nervously. A nice woman waves back.

A hush falls over the crowd. She can't help glancing at Elsa.

"People of Arendelle," Elsa says and if she's scared, she doesn't sound it, "welcome to this year's harvest festival. It is a great honour to be here, to celebrate this time with you." Elsa looks at her and suddenly smiles the impish smile from Anna's memories. "Not only to celebrate a harvest of food, not only to celebrate Arendelle as a country, but to celebrate life. It is my understanding that the newest member of our family has not yet been formally introduced." She turns to Joachim, standing by the stage, who blinks like an owl caught in firelight. Anna tries to beckon as surreptitiously as she can because Elsa is doing _something_ and now is not a good time to argue. Joachim walks on, holding Elias' hand. Then he glances at Elsa and Anna realises that he expects her to pick him up.

She darts behind Elsa to hold him. Ignoring the confusion of the crowd, Elsa continues, "May I be the first to formally introduce Prince Elias, son of Princess Anna of Arendelle and Prince Joachim of the Southern Isles?" She pauses and then adds in an impish tone, "It's his birthday next week and I'm sure his parents would _love _it if you spoiled him as much as you wanted."

"He can't have too many sweets before bedtime," Anna calls out. The crowd laughs. Someone applauds and it catches on quickly.

"Let the harvest festival begin," Elsa says over the applause and it increases in volume. The speaker nods as they leave the stage. It is only once they are on the ground that Anna sees that Elsa's gloves are darker in colour than when she went on.

* * *

At first, Elsa is overwhelmed. That's the best word for it. She's grown up in her room and in empty halls. She's been to meetings with rarely more than ten people. But here … here it feels as though the entire _world_ is walking past her. She keeps her arms crossed, wary of even slightly brushing someone. Maybe this was a bad idea.

Anna, of course, wants to see everything. Joachim suggests that Elsa could stand somewhere quieter but Anna refuses and Elsa feels bad because if she weren't there, Anna could have done whatever she wanted.

"It's fine," she says. "I'll walk with you."

Anna squeals and hugs her. It startles her and she can feel her sodden gloves become slightly more water-logged but that's OK because she hasn't frozen her sister.

But there are people there. Everywhere. Some of them want to talk to her. She tries to answer as best she can but there are so many of them and she's too aware of the fact that she could kill them.

The dark she knows well whispers to her but she forces it away. She forces away the feeling of not feeling. She wants to enjoy this.

Anna dances with Joachim. She leaves Elias by Elsa and thank God there are some ladies who want to hold him and pinch his cheeks because then Elsa has a legitimate reason not to hold him. They aren't as at ease with her as they are with Anna and she can't make them feel at ease but that's fine because she has time. Maybe. Probably not. After all, Anna will soon be gone and she will be left alo-

"My God!"

She whirls. Fire. That's the first thing she sees. An overturned cooking fire, spreading past the tables and into the field. People point at a nearby tree. Flames flicker up the trunk, towards the boy who has climbed into the branches. People desperately beat at the flames but it's too strong and there's not enough water. Smoke rises. Women scream. Anna runs to her, Joachim trailing behind.

"Here," Anna pants, holding something out to Elsa, "hold this." Elsa takes it unthinkingly. A shoe. Anna is bent over.

"Anna, what are you-"

"Second one." Anna looks up at the tree. "Someone has to go up and get him."

"Anna, the tree is on _fire_ and you can barely climb as it is," Joachim says.

"Doesn't matter. No one else is doing anything."

"Because of the _fire_. Anna!" But Anna has already run. Joachim turns to her, his face terrified. "I have to stop her."

"Joachim-"

"I can't let her climb that tree. There's nothing we can do to help."

_You can do anything_.

There are so many people between her and that tree but she starts to push forward. She feels her hair leave its loose braid as she runs.

"Joachim," she shouts as she charges after him, "stop."

"I can't. We can't. Unless you happen to be able to put out fires with nothing but your mind, we need to-"

"I can."

"-stop her from-"

"I can put out that fire without touching it."

"-climbing the-"

"I'm a witch, now will you shut up and listen?"

"Tr- what did you say?

She catches up. "Joachim, help me move these people. Everyone needs to be out of the way. This is dangerous."

"This is no time to joke, Elsa."

She piles snow on his head. People pause at the sight. She rips the gloves off her hand and runs, shouting at people to get out of the way. After a few seconds, she hears Joachim bellow for people to move. Such a loud bellow for such a quiet man.

Anna is nearly at the tree when she hears Elsa scream her name. The fire is higher now and Elsa gestures for her sister to move. Anna understands instantly and runs to the side, as Elsa summons as much as she can and _hurls_ it at the flames.

Steam rises under a pile of snow and ice so high that the boy is actually able to step onto it. He doesn't, at first, but he recovers quicker than anyone and walks to the edge, looking down.

Right. He can't jump that far. She makes a second, slightly smaller snow pile, reinforcing it with ice. Then a third. And so on, until he is on the ground. His damp footsteps fill the silence as Elsa realises she has just revealed her powers to the entirety of Arendelle, her gloves are somewhere underfoot and she has created several piles of snow that she has to get rid of without her trusty shovel.

The footsteps' speed increases and suddenly a little bundle charges into her, knocking her over. She only just manages to raise her hands as she crashes to the floor and a tree branch takes the hit. It lands next to them.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you," the boy whispers. He seems to realise what he has done and who he has just knocked over because he leaps up immediately and bows unsteadily, or perhaps it's simply her perspective. "'m sorry, your Highness," he mumbles, his voice hoarse. He can't be older than eleven. "We lost our ball up there and then the fire started and you saved my life." He turns and looks at the snow piles. "How'd you _do _that?"

"Huh?"

"That was so awesome."

She realises she's still on the ground so she pushes herself up onto her feet. "Are … are you OK?"

He nods vigorously and then looks longingly at the snow. "Highness, seriously, how'd you do that? My mother says magic don't exist. Could you teach me? _Please_, Highness? I'll be good, I promise."

"Get in line, buster," Anna says as she arrives, her voice slightly raspy with smoke. "She's got to teach me first." Seeing his face fall, she adds, "We could learn together, maybe."

"It's not something I can teach," she says faintly, not entirely sure what's going on. "I don't even know how to get rid of the snow."

"You should tr-"

A woman marches up, curtseys at Anna and Elsa before grabbing the boy in a hug. "Doran, stop bothering the princesses," she snaps, tears flowing down her face as she hugs him. "You've caused enough trouble already." She releases him to look up. "Princess Elsa, I don't know how to thank you enough. I owe you my son's life." She curtseys again, deeply. "Always your faithful subject, Highness, but please, if there's anything I can do, let me know. As for _you_," she says, turning to Doran, "back home. Come on."

Elsa watches the woman march off with the boy, feeling strangely out of place. Then she turns to the crowd, all of whom are staring at her. Joachim's eyes are wide.

"Right then." Anna says breezily, "Nothing to see here. Just, uh, Elsa putting out fires. That's done. Um, let's all go back to the festival."

No one moves. She wonders how far she'll be able to run.

And then the cheering starts.

* * *

Agdar finds her standing by a burnt tree and a giant lump of snow, biting her lip. Anna and Joachim are nearby, talking – or maybe arguing – about something. Anna sees him so he waves. She walks over to Elsa. He recognises that look. Elsa used to wear it when Anna was in trouble.

He doesn't put his hand on her shoulder. Instead, he stands next to her as he says, "The Duke of Weselton came to see me." Anna opens her mouth to snap at him as Elsa flinches. "He said you were a witch and you had cursed us with eternal winter. Your mother and I came all the way here, searching for you. Is this the eternal winter?" He peers at the snow. "I expected something grander. You could have at least caused a blizzard or something." Elsa makes a noise, somewhere between a laugh and a groan. "Good thing we ran into those ladies who said there was a princess by here, shaking and staring at some snow. Incidentally, your mother stayed with them to help. They think you need cocoa."

Elsa peeks out at him from under her long hair. It's come loose at some point. She's obviously fallen down as well and her gloves are nowhere to be seen. "You're not angry then? I … everyone knows."

"Well, yes, I assumed as much." He makes himself shrug. The truth is, when the Duke told him that she had revealed her powers, his heart nearly stopped. "No one was hurt. No one, apart from the Duke of Weselton, is shouting at me. God, what a time for _him _to visit." Anna giggles. "So, will someone explain what you're doing? As far as I understand it, you put the fire out about forty minutes ago."

"Good luck," Anna says. "_I've_ been trying to find out for forty minutes."

"And now I think we should hand it over to your father. Come on, Anna," Joachim says, putting a gentle hand over her mouth. Suddenly, he jumps. "You licked me!"

"Elsa?" Agdar says quietly. "What's wrong? You didn't los-"

She finally looks away from the snow. "No. I didn't. But everyone knows. They'll all think I can always do this when I still can't control it."

"You controlled it today." He hesitates. "You've been controlling it much better since Anna came."

"If I could control it, I could get rid of this snow." She makes a noise of frustration and even that's strange to hear from her.

"You've never been able to before."

"But I _can_. I know I can. It feels as though there's a door, keeping it in. And when I lose control, it blasts through it."

He looks at the pile. It's large, yes, but set out in a strange fashion. He'd be willing to bet that it matches where the fire was.

"Elsa, why did you put the fire out? You could have waited for the bucket chain."

Her expression is almost appalled when she looks at him. "The tree was burning, Father. Doran would have died if I hadn't acted." Then the aggression leaves her and she sags. "Although, had I lost control, they all would have died. It was a stupid risk to take."

Anna and Joachim have wandered away a short distance. He suspects that's Joachim's doing. Elsa shakes, her hands fisted in her mud-splattered dress. Above them, it begins to rain. He tries to phrase his next words carefully. It feels as though they'll be important.

"You didn't lose control here. You were under great pressure and you performed perfectly. People love you. Plenty stopped us when we came looking for you. Oh, some grumbled, of course, but most said they were impressed that you'd never used your powers for ill before. They were impressed with your judgment. And a few said it was a brave thing you did, risking your life to save the boy." He holds his hand up to stall her protest. "Maybe not a risk to your life but they _could_ have hated you. They could have forced you to leave. You took that risk. For them."

"But every day they have me _is _a risk for them."

He watches Anna and Joachim with their son. "I wonder. I said your control's improved since Anna came back. Perhaps the happier you are, the more in control you feel."

"That's the solution? Be_ happy_?"

He winces. "No, but … before the accident, you had good control. I sometimes think we were wrong. Perhaps the trolls were merely warning us of what would happen if you lost control. I don't think you were ever in danger of losing it until we isolated you from Anna."

He has never admitted that before but it haunted his nights even before Anna told them they were the reason for Elsa's attempted suicide.

"But it amounts to the same thing. I can't control my powers _now_."

"You can. You did it today. You've done it around Anna. You do it every day you don't hurt one of us. You just need to realise you can."

"It's not that easy."

"It never is. But you say it feels like a door blocks you and you force it open when you lose control?" In his mind's eye, he sees dark corridors and a frozen room. "I've only seen you lose control when you're upset. Being calm, being happy, I think that helps. And that's where … it's alright to feel those things. It's alright to feel. More than alright, Elsa. You _should_ be happy. You should be interested and curious and even sad, if needs be. You're halfway there, I think. You already control well when you feel love."

She gives him a sceptical look. "You sound like Anna. I loved Anna and I was happy then. I still hurt her."

"You didn't lose control though," he says. He wasn't there, of course, and Elsa only once described what happened, but the words burnt into his mind. Since Anna's words, he's thought more and more about the incident. "Anna was moving too fast and you missed. There's a difference."

She's silent for a long time. Perhaps a minute. He doesn't know.

"You think so?" Then she shakes her head, still fuelled by that refusal to be happy. "But then today was the opposite. I've never met Doran."

"It doesn't matter. Everything you've done, since you were eight, knowingly or not, has been on the first principle of being a good ruler. Loving the people. You stayed in your room just so you wouldn't hurt anyone. You pushed Anna away to save her. And today, you didn't see a stranger – you saw a boy in trouble and you risked your well-being to save him. That's an act of love if ever I saw one. And look how that turned out." She still looks troubled and after another minute, he stands. "Think about it. You can say I'm losing my mind, if you want, but in my opinion, love is an open door." He looks around. "Ah, cocoa's here. You should have some."

"No, thanks."

There will be no reasoning with her so he walks towards Idun, who smiles at him. The women try to curtsey while holding steaming mugs. He takes one gratefully and then sees the eyes of one of them women widen. He turns around and smiles.

The snow, while not gone, is much smaller than it was when he last looked.

* * *

"Why didn't you tell me?" Joachim asks, late at night.

"Well, I only found out a few weeks ago. And then … I dunno, I got sucked into it too. You're not mad, are you?"

He scratches his head. "I suppose not. I mean, she's not dangerous and, well, it can't have been fun for her. Maybe I wouldn't have told either, if I were her."

"I would."

He smiles. "If _you_ had ice powers, we'd be surrounded by an entire snow village."

"…You say that like it's a _bad_ thing…"

* * *

They leave after a second week. Anna hugs her parents but she can feel the strain between them. She wants to say she's forgiven them, and maybe she has, but she can't forget that they _told_ Elsa that she would kill Anna. They hid the truth from her.

One day, though. One day, she thinks, she'll come back and they'll be back to normal.

She hugs Elsa before Elsa can flinch away. She's not completely better. Sometimes, she can't get out of bed, or she cries for no reason, and they're still wary about leaving her alone. But she spends time outside now, and she's made time for Anna every single day. She laughs. She's started to eat properly and even joined her and Elias on a kitchen raid. She's not the sister Anna has always dreamed of but she feels as though they're close to being the sisters they used to be.

"We'll be back soon," she says as she walks to the boat.

"I look forward to it." Elsa coughs. "Though perhaps I should visit you out there. To save you from doing all of the travelling," she says and Anna smiles.

* * *

Weeks pass and Elsa begins to look slender rather than scrawny, pale rather than sickly, alive rather than vacant. She is still quiet – still reclusive – but she is _there_. She is in the grounds, talking to the guards. She is in meetings with her father. She is in the halls, walking with her mother; in the library, working on reports; in her room, writing letters to her sister.

Idun can't help laughing when the carpenter grumbles that her new-found attitude has put him out of a job. She breaks a chair and he tells her off for it.

* * *

The children in the yard shriek with laughter as they chase each other.

"So, these are your vassals?"

She turns. Her father watches her with that understanding glint in his eye. "Doran – the boy from the harvest festival – started it. He wanted to learn magic. I told him I couldn't teach him that so he asked to be my page. Said he wanted to work in the palace." She grins. "Actually, he wants to be war master. He's practicing in the snow."

She looks out at the snowy yard, now covered in miniature obstacles. Her gloved hands are locked behind her back.

"War master? You expect your rule to be violent?"

"_I _don't. He does. I'm hoping he'll realise soon that peace is much better."

The King looks out. It's more than Doran out there because his friends became excited when they realised Elsa would let them play here and even teach them. Not magic, but stories, history, geometry and the hundreds of other things she learnt from books. They swiftly realise he's there and their movements slow as they try to bow and curtsey.

He smiles. "Which one of you is Master Doran?"

The sandy-haired boy nearest to her bows. "I am, your Majesty."

"I understand you are my daughter's page."

"Yes, Majesty." His voice has no fear and that's another reason she let him be her page. If her father realises, he doesn't say. "She said we could practice, Majesty. See, Tomas and Ronya want to be the royal ice masters and deliverers, so we said we'd help them practice in the snow, Majesty."

She can see her father trying not to laugh at the boy's earnest attitude and the idea that a position like this will be needed when Elsa takes the throne. "Then by all means, Master Doran. Practice away."

"Majesty." He bows again and dashes back into the yard, nearly slipping on some ice.

"His parents don't mind?"

Elsa shakes her head. "Doran's mother is thrilled that I've taken him on. As for the others … they're happy to have some time away. I think. It's hard to tell. People are reserved around me. And I know they're scared I'll lose control." She glances at the cloth on her gloves. "God knows I am."

"You'll be fine, Elsa."

She looks out at the children playing. If someone had told her that one day, she could use her powers like this, and people would love her anyway, she would have thought them crazy.

And yet. It's the moments like these that make her get out of bed. It's the memories of laughing children or gossiping parents that flood her body when that darkness seeps back. It's the sound of laughter and voices that don't echo off walls, or letters and pictures from a faraway land.

Suddenly, there are all sorts of things she wants to say. To thank her parents for always standing by her, or her sister, for never giving up on her. Joachim, for letting Anna come home and for falling in love with her. She wants to say sorry for everything she's done and she wants to tell her father that it's OK, she's not angry with him.

But it's too much. So, instead, she says, "I hope so."

"Princess, please could we have some more snowmen?"

Her father laughs as she pretends to roll her eyes before flicking a couple onto the yard. The children cheer. She turns back to her father.

He winks at her. His eyes no longer flicker to her wrists, although she always wears long sleeves. It doesn't matter. She rarely feels that burning fire now.

"You know," she says quietly, "I feel as though, for the first time in forever, I finally have a grip on things."

He wraps an arm around her shoulders and she barely flinches. "I think you do. I think there's little that could surprise you now."

She smiles. Someone calls for the King and her father turns.

He's right. Finally, everything is falling into place.

"Hey, Princess Elsa?" Doran calls.

"Yes?"

"Why didn't you say you could get the snowmen to talk? This is amazing!"

"…What?"

_**Fin**_


End file.
